


we three kings

by schweet_heart



Series: Hornblower Fic [1]
Category: Hornblower (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Episode Tag, Grief, M/M, Mourning, Multi, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9372494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schweet_heart/pseuds/schweet_heart
Summary: Archie’s solution had been simple, elegantly so, and when Bush had protested that Horatio would not like it he had merely smiled and said, "You will manage him. He will listen to you."But he had been wrong, Bush saw now. Horatio was not listening at all.Missing scene fromRetribution.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For SinsofYouth, who wanted some more HH :)

 

Bush barely recognized the man who entered his rooms that evening, so changed was his face. He half pushed himself to his feet as the confusion registered, then paused, his hands gripping the table top. Those passionate eyes were darker than he'd ever seen them, the expressive mouth pulled into a tight line.

 

“Horatio?” He could scarcely credit it. Horatio advanced on him as if he were the enemy, fury in his bunched shoulders and clenched fists.

 

“Why did you let him do it?" he demanded. "For God's sake, William, you could have stopped him."

 

Bush reached out and caught him hard with both hands before the two of them collided, ignoring the painful pull of his wound, and Horatio jerked to a stop, his eyes searching Bush’s face for some explanation. He had been half expecting the smell of drink; it was unlike Horatio, to be sure, but so was this violence, this uncharacteristic lack of control. He had never seen Horatio so carried away with emotion that he would forget his self restraint, not even when tested beyond all reasonable limit.

 

"Why didn’t you stop him?" he asked again. It was more plea now than an accusation, and Bush could not wilfully misunderstand.

 

"It had to be done," he said. His heart quivered beneath the full force of that hot gaze, the anguish in it. He grasped the arms of the younger man tighter, not quite shaking him, needing him to understand. "It had to, Horatio. He did his duty."

 

"And what did that get him?" Horatio demanded. "If he hadn’t - hadn’t dragged himself into that courtroom to sacrifice himself - his good name - for _me_ , he’d still be - "

 

He choked on the last word and stopped. Bush felt a coldness brush through him at the implications, unspoken as they were.

 

"Kennedy's dead?"

 

"Yes." So much bitterness in a single word. "But he might have lived if he hadn’t - "

 

"He wouldn’t have lived, Horatio. There was nothing to be done, except what he did."

 

"We’ll never know that for certain, will we?" Horatio’s jaw clenched. Bush watched the flex of his cheek muscles, the tendonous line of his neck. Anything to avoid those eyes. "He could have lived. He might have healed, given time."

 

"Horatio," Bush said helplessly. He could feel the tremors in the slim body under his hands, felt the weight of his own guilt treble. It had all seemed so straightforward when Archie had laid it out for him. The man was dying. They both knew it. Horatio was in danger, his life and reputation threatened; when Archie had asked him to answer for the Captain’s fall, he had given no account of himself, as he surely would have if he had not been guilty. They had both known also that Horatio would have given himself up to the court the next day and hanged for it. Archie’s solution had been simple, elegantly so, and when Bush had protested that Horatio would not like it he had merely smiled and said, "You will manage him. He will listen to you."

 

But he had been wrong, Bush saw now. Horatio was not listening at all. 

 

"Horatio, please - "

 

"Don't." Horatio shook his head. "I don’t want to hear excuses. There must be something to be done. I can go to the court and tell them that he was delirious. That it was really I who - "

 

This time, Bush really did shake him. 

 

"Are you mad? Archie sacrificed himself that you would be safe!"

 

"Then Archie died for nothing," Horatio said flatly. He broke Bush’s grip and strode to the window, his hands clasped behind his back. This was more familiar; the muted anger, the unwillingness to show his emotions so plainly. Bush would have been relieved, except that Horatio’s words sent an alarum clanging through him.

 

"What do you mean?" he demanded. He recalled Archie’s brilliant, stubborn face; the tousled gold-brown hair; the set of his jaw as he explained that his actions were necessary to protect the best friend either of them had ever had. 

 

"I didn’t do it, William. I didn’t push the captain. It was an accident."

 

There was silence in the room. The clock on the mantlepiece ticked off the seconds while Bush searched for something that he could say.

 

"He was so certain that you had," he said at last. "Or maybe that you wouldn’t be able to prove - "

 

"I told him I wouldn’t care to speculate," Horatio said. There was something in the line of his back as he stared out the window, down to the street, that put Bush in mind of the old Greek tales. Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders must have looked like that. "I told him the chances were slim because I thought I might have to say goodbye to him. I wanted to prepare him, I hardly intended for him to..."

 

Bush felt grief tighten around his heart. Setting aside his usual decorum, ignoring Horatio’s flinch as he stepped closer, he put a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. Horatio looked up at him, the anger gone from his face; he seemed younger now than he ever had to Bush, a child who did not comprehend how the world could be so unfair.

 

"Why did he do it?" he asked. 

 

Did he really need an answer? Bush wondered. Wasn’t it obvious that both he and Kennedy would have done anything for him, including lay down their lives if necessary, including sacrifice each other on his behalf? He had always been the glue that kept their odd, intense friendship together. It was only because they both loved him, both saw in him that latent capacity for greatness, that they had even had much in common. Could he truly not see that?

 

"Because it had to be done," Bush said, aware that he was repeating himself. "I’d have done it myself, if I could. I know how close the two of you were. I know that you would - " But no, that wasn’t fair. "I know he didn’t want you to be deprived of two friends when the price of one would do."

 

"There is no price I would less willingly have paid,” Horatio said softly.

 

“I know that too,” said Bush, and bowed his head.


End file.
